Influences

Who influences you?

It's probably not something that you think about every day, but it's a question worthy of some thought. Our walk in life is influenced by other people to some extent or another, whether we like it or not. We're assailed every day by the TV, radio, movies, magazines and advertising. We're told that this product will make us eternally happy if we part with our hard-earned cash in order to have it. We're told by movie stars (who are usually only good at being someone they're not) that this perfume is the only one that will have the guys falling all over you, or this certain watch will turn you into an international superspy.
At an unconscious level, this is simply because we are people, we care about what other people think and we want to be accepted by others. If we are aware of this, it is a lot easier to be influenced by the right people on a conscious level instead and it gives us a chance to direct our lives the way we want them to go.

Your mentors, you must wisely choose.

As a drummer, I have embarked on a lifelong learning path. After 22 years of hitting drums, I am very aware that there are more things out there that I don't know than things I do. I also know that in order to improve, I need to pay attention to what other drummers are doing and saying. I need to carefully choose who speaks into my life, because I become like who I listen to and who I hang around. For example, one name that springs to mind is Vinnie Colaiuta. Vinnie has a proven track record as a drummer, including playing for big names such as Frank Zappa and Sting. I want to learn as much as I can about Vinnie - his style, techniques, attitude, values and beliefs. I want to know what makes him tick and how he got to where he is today. In contrast, I don't want to be like ole mate (let's call him Mungo) down the road that has a bash in a pub band on Saturday nights. I might know Mungo and say hi on occasion, but because I choose who influences me, Mungo's opinions don't hold any weight with me. I choose to hang out with drummers that are at least a step ahead of me so that I can eventually make it to their level.

On a level other than the professional, personal influences are also inportant. What do you want your life to be like? Your marriage (if you're married)? Your job? Your family? Surround yourself with people who will positively enhance your life. My parents have been happily married for more than 35 years. While they're not perfect (nobody is!) they've tried their best. If they've managed to keep it together for that long, they must be doing something right. I've grown up watching them do life together, and that's something that I want for my marriage. You might be thinking, "my parents split up when I was young, what hope do I have?" The answer is, you have as much hope as you decide to have. If your parents haven't been the best example, get alongside another couple who you might know who are doing life as a team.

Aware you must be. Influence others, you do.

The flip-side of this is that as we are influenced by our heroes and mentors, we also influence those who look up to us. Believe it or not, there are people that you know who listen to what you say and watch what you do. They observe your life and take it all on board. Whether you like it or not, you are an influence to others! That's a rather sobering thought. The things you do and say shape the lives of the younger and more malleable minds that you come into contact with. I guess the lesson is that we need to be careful about what we say and do. We need to be the best that we can be in order for the next generation to have even half a hope of matching that. Once again, as a drummer, I influence my students through my attitude, my comments and my encouragement. They look up to me for help, for guidance and the way forward.

So.... who influences you?